Ariel, the mer-maid

Good day isn’t it? I’m back!!! I’m sure I was missed. No? Okay.Cold world. Sorry about the hiatus. I was on a vacation.

Today, I’m telling us a story that we do not know very well. A tale that occurred under the sea. A tale of fins, scales and gills. Wait, don’t leave yet. It’s Ariel (not the whitening detergent) you guys. Look.

Isn’t she pretty?

As you all know, Ariel was a mermaid. She was pure. She was immortal. Till she met a man. At this time she was 500 years old.

Ariel and the man

This man kissed Ariel and she mistakenly bit off a bit of his lip flesh. It tasted tasty. She couldn’t get enough of it. So, she ate him all up. Like a fish that she was, she gobbled him. She became a man-eater. She chased sailors and enticed them with her uncovered bosoms. Then she ate them. 

Ariel without makeup. After sessions of feeding. On men.

After a while, she got tired of eating human flesh, she got curious about what that extra limp on a man’s body was for. She asked her father, Papa Mer-man and he forbade her to ever go to the surface again.But, the curiosity of a 500 years old adolescent got the best of her.

The Vitruvian man has 6 limbs, 5 of them in the lower body, Vitruvian woman has only 4 in the lower body.

She begged the witch for a potion to help with her desires. and the bad witch helped her. As expected. She went back to discover the purpose of this limb.

The Good Witch

Ariel went to the surface, drank the potion and met Julius the fisherman, A strong, huge  @(*@%^#@ man. She played the innocent recently converted to human mermaid and used and abused the limb of sir Julius. He never complained. 4 weeks later Ariel noticed the absence of her human period, yeah, you guessed, she was pregnant.

Rushing back to the sea, she pleaded with the witch for help. The witch replied: I can’t help you *bleep*, your mother should have raised you *bleep* *bleep* *BLEEP*. She spewed a lot of obscenities at Ariel, and kicked her out of her cave.

Ariel had the baby. A trolling baby.

bouncing baby Troll

Ariel lived a sad life, no mer-man wanted her for a bride. Papa Mer-man disowned her. And she died when the oil spillage spread into her zones, Where she was discovered by a sad Julius.

Ariel, Isn’t she pretty?

And that people is what happens when you eat(no sexual innuendo) people, have unprotected sex and disobey your parents, you end up as a pregnant mermaid, disowned by your family, with a baby like that and killed by an oil spill.

This is the true story behind the fairy tale.

Don’t forget to follow the blog for more interesting mind-numbing posts.